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Posted by Neredbojias on 12/25/41 11:26
With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
> Neredbojias wrote:
> >> Any English speaking person wanting to learn Dutch should have some
> >> sort of stamina, as well as a healthy supply of throat pastilles.
> >
> > Stamina?
>
> not giving up too easily
>
> > Throat whatever-pastilles-are?
>
> lozenges
>
> > Oh, I get it. When people think you're Dutch, you have to run away
> > before they throttle you.
>
> eh.. not quite.
> Just try and say "allemachtig, dat is prachtig, niet één
> gereedschapskist, maar achtentachtig!" and you'll know what the
> pastilles are for.
Piece of cake. I said it 250 times in a row and my throat never felt
better.
>
> > Nah, don't worry. I need to learn just enough tulip talk so that when I
> > take a girl out to a restaurant and the bill comes, I can pull the old
> > surprise: Dutch-treat routine with some convincing lingo to back it up.
>
> Dutch girls are smarter than that/you.
If Dutch girls are so smart, why do they call "accidentally" pregnant
girls "in Dutch"?
>
> >>> Sometimes I drink stuff neat and sometimes I drink stuff sloppy. -Yet
> >>> another difference in the sexes.
> >>
> >> Yup - we stop the intake before we make a mess. (well, I do)
> >
> > Well, I usually stop the intake before I throw up but sometimes that
> > annoying gas turns out to be more than it seemed.
>
> You just gave away your age.
Yeah? What is it?
>
> [Aussies]
> >> they speak English (albeit a funny form of it).
> >
> > I thought that was the British?
>
> No, the British speak English. It's then the Aussies and South
> Africans who sound a bit funny, and it's the 'Mericans who lost the
> ability to speak English altogether since they crossed the big pond.
>
> > In any case, I don't mean to condemn all Australians
>
> Let's leave it at that.
You're starting to sound like my ex-wife.
>
> > What if a man wants to
> > cleanse those delicate, sensitive places where the sun don't shine and a
> > bar just doesn't quite fit?
>
> Oops, I forgot - you're one of those males who don't know how to use
> soap in a normal decent manner. Ever wondered why a woman will always
> use soft soap if there is the slightest possibility a man may have
> used the plain soap?
>
> >> That, and by mums like myself, for the kids to wash their hands when
> >> they have played outside. Soft soap doesn't last long in small kids'
> >> hands.
> >
> > I suppose I should take this opportunity to mention that "soft soap"
> > also means complimentary words that are insincere and/or gratuitous
>
> Ah, you mean those spoken by men who...
>
> > often voiced in an attempt to ingratiate oneself with a woman for
> > purposes which are a mystery to neither.
>
> Yup, those.
> I call that see-through-soap. Nothing soft about it.
No wonder you have trouble with language.
>
> >>> Just because a person has something doesn't mean he is it.
> >>
> >> I didn't say it did.
> >
> > I didn't say you said it did.
>
> Good.
>
> > Btw, it did what?
>
> Nothing. It was used in a negative. Like "didn't".
>
> > Oh, this is another one of them Dutch idioms, isn't it?
>
> It isn't.
> It's English grammar.
This sounds like one of them circular arguments where someone ends up
saying, "Well I'm the Queen of England!"
>
> >>> Oh, there was a "neritboias ixtl" or
> >>> something like that mentioned in paleo-Incan scrawlings discovered
> >>> inside a cave near Chichen Itza, but I think it was simply their pet
> >>> name for the outhouse.
> >>
> >> Sounds like a reasonable assumption.
> >
> > Wish you were one of my dissenting colleagues.
>
> No you don't.
Yeah, you're right. Women don't belong on the trail.
>
> >>> Really? I'm impressed.
> >>
> >> You're easily impressed.
> >
> > Yep. My naivety is exceeded only by my ability to exploit it.
>
> How old do you think good aged Cognac really is?
Oh, 2-3 months. I never actually understood the reference, but
everybody uses it so...
--
Neredbojias
Contrary to popular belief, it is believable.
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