Posted by Neredbojias on 09/21/05 01:58

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

> >> Trying to learn Dutch should be the ultimate experiment for you.
> >
> > How about this:
> >
> > "Yeep glocken! Thoust feet-glumps maket da awful racket and t'smell
> > like stinky bottomland, toot!"
>
> Not quite.

Ohhh, I'm so disappointed.

> Although it does remind me of a series of Oranjeboom ads on the London
> Underground. They don't seem to be documented anywhere online, or at
> least I can't find any other info than just people on Usenet who, like
> me, are trying to find them.
> They were short sentences, made up from actual Dutch words, which only
> made sense in English. Can't stand the fact I can't find them on the
> web though, they were funny imo.

Such as "I like corn flakes. I edam everyday."?

Or "The old codger had a windmill in his pants."?

Um, kinda juvenile.

> >>> I'm more of a beer-and-pork-rinds person when it comes to condiments.
> >>
> >> I'll just have the pork rinds thanks, you can have the beer.
> >
> > Wow, most women I've met can't stand pork rinds.
>
> I don't see why, really, don't they eat bacon either then?

Sometimes the man don't bring it home in time for the peak of their
appetite.

> I tried to make them myself, but never got them as good as the ones
> you get from the butcher's. No idea what I was doing wrong.

Over here we call 'em fried pork rinds and they come in a bag like
potato chips. They're light and crispy and definitely not procured from
a butcher (-unless the clerk is a serial killer, of course.)

> > Not many like beer,
> > either, but they sure can souse up the pricey drinks.
>
> I do like the pricey drinks, true - but cheap vodka will do just as
> well. I learnt to drink it in Israel, where it was a lot cheaper than
> beer.

We got something over here called "hootch" which is probably rather
equivalent. If you live, it's great.

> >>> When you set your sights high, the climb may be steep but the conquest
> >>> on top is worth it.
> >>
> >> Good point.
> >> Although there's a limit to how steep that climb should be. It's a
> >> fine line between a worthwhile conquest and none at all.
> >
> > Quite true. I learned that one morning after apparently having climbed
> > upon 200 pounds of nefarious night-lifer.
>
> Sounds like a very good reason to limit the alcohol intake on a night
> out.

Not hardly. Now I just keep a scale in the trunk.

> >>> The prophet Mohammed is merciful and benevolent.
> >>
> >> Was maybe. The guy's dead.
> >
> > Uh, that isn't exactly the spirit in which you are supposed to take a
> > benediction.
>
> Huh?
> Ah - was that why you said it! Sorry, missed that.

Yes, I'm really not in the habit of evoking Muslim salutations for a
spontaneous thrill.

> >>>>> -And it's a man's fault for trying to sow his seed as best he can?
> >>>>
> >>>> Not really.
> >>>
> >>> Glad we agree. Men are the planters that plant the seeds, women are the
> >>> loam in which the seeds grow, and anything else is just so much
> >>> fertilizer.
> >>
> >> Anything else that helps, yes. There's plenty of de-fertilizer around
> >> though. If I have to believe television and women's mags, a strong
> >> de-fertilizer would be the wearing of white socks and loafers.
> >
> > Yes, but knee socks and patent-leathers would probably be worse.
>
> No idea, never heard/read that - maybe those are so bad, that they
> can't even be talked about.

Who usually wears knee socks and patent leather shoes? -Young girls.
If a man wore them...

> >>>>> Let's face it, both sexes are just victims of biological impulses beyond
> >>>>> their ability to mitigate so the best thing to do is to "go with the
> >>>>> flow" and be happy. As they say in Germany, "the wurst comes first."
> >>>>
> >>>> <g>
> >>>> If you'd make that 'as they say in Holland', you wouldn't have had to
> >>>> change the vowel :-)
> >>>
> >>> "Wirst"?
> >>
> >> Bad, worse, wirst? What's that, American English?
> >
> > Oh, you meant "worst". Now I get it. Sort of.
>
> German wurst is Dutch worst.
>
> Only I didn't intend that pun; trying again:
>
> "worst" is Dutch for what the Germans call "wurst"

Do you always manifest this much interest in the sausage field?

> > Men are only foolish when they start to take women seriously.
>
> You're sure that isn't the other way round?

Okay, have it your way: "When they start to take women seriously is the
only time men are foolish."

> >> Next time you're in this part of the world, you should have a closer
> >> look at Holland and skip Amsterdam altogether.
> >
> > I agree. My best times in Germany were generally away from the bigger
> > cities and more in the small towns and burgs. I travelled around some
> > to non-famous places in-country and got to see what the land was
> > actually like.
> >
> >> (and then maybe have Amsterdam for dessert)
> >
> > Mmm, don't think so. Sex arcades don't impress me.
>
> Amsterdam is more than just that. You don't think I would go to the
> red light district when I go to Amsterdam, do you?

Is this a trick question, too?

> I go to look at the
> tourists, have a picknick in the park, enjoy the buskers' acts, browse
> the markets, sometimes I go for concerts.. mostly for the atmosphere
> though. Very different from other places in Holland.

It sounds like you like to travel. I used to, but now I'm more of a
"home-body" type. And, personally, I get all the atmosphere I want in
the bathroom.

> >>> It's better to be specific when you're calling something "nice".
> >>
> >> I meant to call the man himself 'nice'. So far I haven't seen any men
> >> who like that.
> >
> > They likely interpret it as a lessening of their chances for a romp in
> > the hay. Next time look down a little and say "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!"
> > and you'll probably get a more positive response.
>
> No kidding.

Seriously! -Aw, you're just trying to pull my leg.

> >>> For
> >>> instance, if you eyeballed a man's muscles and told him he had a nice
> >>> bulge, his face would beam with delight.
> >>
> >> Oh yes, that's true. Quite easy to compliment a man.
> >
> > If it's so damn easy, how come women do it so damn rarely?
>
> No idea. Maybe cause there is no accomplishment to be found in it.
> It's just too easy to be satisfying.

Yup, I getcha. 'Ran across a few women in my day just like that.

> >>>>>>> Men don't complain; they merely point out observed negatives in a
> >>>>>>> logical and concise manner.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> I must have met the wrong men.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> It sounds like it. A good man knows how to tolerate a woman without
> >>>>> offending her, at least until the relationship is consummated.
> >>>>
> >>>> Ah, I did meet the right men then. You hadn't stated the consummated
> >>>> clause before.
> >>>
> >>> Well, one should be non-offensive afterwards, too, of course.
> >>
> >> If only more men perceived that.
> >>
> >>> It's just not as critical.
> >>
> >> That's where the man is wrong though. Presuming he would like the
> >> woman to stay with him.
> >
> > From your own mouth doest the truth spew.
>
> Not all men are like that. Some actually would like to be married for
> life.

What on earth for? That's the same as saying "I like
liverwurst/worst/wirst and I'm not going to consume anything else for my
entire life." Wouldn't it be nice to have a pizza once in awhile, or
even a can of tuna?

> >>> I may avoid a glob of vomit on a sizzling summer sidewalk, but I'm
> >>> not afraid of it.
> >>
> >> Only cause you haven't seen 'The Blob'.
> >
> > Seen the original with Steve McQueen.
>
> I've seen neither version, and have no intention to watch it later
> either.

Perhaps you suffer from globular blobophobic discombobulation.

>
> > Didn't scare me one bit. I even
> > munched on a booger when I got home to prove it.
>
> I bet you did your best to ignore the semi-conscious idea of it
> growing while you chewed it.

No problemo. That's something a man must always consider no matter what
he's doing.

> >>> (To be honest,
> >>> though, if I see maggots, my stomach churns a little.)
> >>
> >> Maggots should be banned from visibility. Nay, make that banned from
> >> existence. All they do is turn into flies anyway.
> >
> > But without flies, who would eat all the dog poop?
>
> I don't think we really need dogs either.

Oh, but we do! They provide good camouflage for those delightfully
fluidic nights I come home and don't quite make it into the house before
having to unload.

--
Neredbojias
Contrary to popular belief, it is believable.

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