Posted by Els on 09/27/05 12:04

Neredbojias wrote:
>>>> More like "Hou dus won drink Oranjeboom wit uit spil link half?"
>>>
>>> Hole d'jour knows?
>>
>> If you can make me believe that 'hole' and 'knows' are French words,
>> then it could be a French version...
>
> It's a transatlantic dichotomy.

Quite.

>> [bacon]
>>>>> Sometimes the man don't bring it home in time for the peak of their
>>>>> appetite.
>>>>
>>>> Those men aren't very smart. Should never let a woman wait.
>>>
>>> That's what I keep telling my girlfriend but she doesn't see the light.
>>
>> Like how - you let her wait and she keeps insisting you're
>> intelligent?
>
> Oh har har hardy har har! The point *was* that waiting ain't good for
> no one.

Your point maybe, not mine. Mine was 'never let a *woman* wait'.

>>> I never even knew there was "home made" pork rinds. I'll bet they're
>>> better, too.
>>
>> Anything pre-packed has a home made version afaik.
>> At least anything pre-packed originally must have been invented by
>> someone, making it home made to begin with.
>
> I think many packaged goods, like some cereals and snacks, began their
> careers in factories.

Well yes, after cornflakes were invented, I imagine they invented the
chocolate covered ones in the factory. But something basic like pork
rinds? The first time I ever had them they were home made by my ex'
grandfather in Brazil. It's what the poor do instead of throwing away
food. It's only when I got back home that I saw they existed in
supermarket packets.

>> Whether they're better depends on taste really - they're a bit tougher
>> and fatter.
>> I can make home made crisps (chips) too, but I do prefer the
>> artificially flavoured pre-packed supermarket ones :-)
>
> Artificially-flavored vanilla wafers taste better than the natural kind.

Can't say I ever tasted the natural kind - but I think they would be
better though.

>>> Um, good point. Maybe I'll have a new door installed on my flat with
>>> the "max-width" option.
>>
>> Will only help if you're determined to go inside your own house. What
>> if you're invited into someone else's? Really, the only true solution
>> is to remain conscious.
>
> If I did that, how could I dream about Wynona Rider uninterrupted?

Okay, remain conscious while awake only. At night you can dream
uninterrupted - no need for alcohol induced hallucinations afaics.

>>> You realize that that's why the Scots lost all their wars.
>>
>> Afaik they didn't. They're still called Scotland, not England.
>
> Only because England conceded the point that it would be awkward to call
> the Scots Engs.

:-)

>>> -They were
>>> definitely under-armored in the most vulnerable places. At least the
>>> boys had a nut-guard, although this was probably just a decoration to
>>> distinguish them from the girls.
>>
>> I'd say the unguarded nuts would have been enough to be
>> distinguished...
>
> For sure, but they didn't want all the women to go around lifting up
> their skirts.

Men are so fussy.

>>>> There are no trick questions outside the red light district.
>>>> Or at least, there shouldn't be.
>>>
>>> Well it'd be a bit rude to walk up to a wee fair lassie and say, "What's
>>> under my kilt is as hard as a stilt." Hyperbola is often the correct
>>> course of action when doing your wooing.
>>
>> Trick question = hyperbola? <g>
>
> Actually, a hyperbola is sort of like a flatter parabola. A parabola
> may be compared to a woman's buttock when she's on top.

Sure, but what's that got to do with hyperbola wooing?

>>>> True, but since I'm sort of house-bound by two small humanoids, I have
>>>> to fake travel by visiting Amsterdam or London.
>>>
>>> Heck, I now consider "travelling" hopping on a shopping cart to ride the
>>> downhill trail to my car parked at the supermarket.
>>
>> That's not travelling, that's living on the edge!
>
> Hah, you should see me on a skateboard.

mpeg?

>> [bathroom atmosphere]
>>> Men don't really much notice the decor in such places. If it's got
>>> something porcelain, you just sort of aim at it and proceed on from
>>> there.
>>
>> "sort of aim at it" - that explains a lot every time I had male
>> visitors :S
>
> Men don't have the luxury of just sitting there and letting it all fall
> akimbo (-except, of course, in the other expulsion mode.)

I would assume though, that after 20+ years of practice, men would be
able to aim better.

>>>>>> Not all men are like that. Some actually would like to be married for
>>>>>> life.
>>>>>
>>>>> What on earth for? That's the same as saying "I like
>>>>> liverwurst/worst/wirst and I'm not going to consume anything else for my
>>>>> entire life." Wouldn't it be nice to have a pizza once in awhile, or
>>>>> even a can of tuna?
>>>>
>>>> Marrying the right person gets you all that and more.
>>>
>>> Exactly. -Stew. A man needs a discrete snack every now and then just
>>> to keep the appetite perky.
>>
>> Erm.. I disagree :-)
>
> Of course, women always disagree. But ask them to use the same
> handkerchief over again even once and it's "Oh no! - I can't do that."

And you reckon we'd have less problems using a hanky that's already
been used *by someone else* ??

>>>>>> I don't think we really need dogs either.
>>>>>
>>>>> Oh, but we do! They provide good camouflage for those delightfully
>>>>> fluidic nights I come home and don't quite make it into the house before
>>>>> having to unload.
>>>>
>>>> You're not getting it - you don't need 'delightfully fluidic nights'
>>>> that urge you to 'unload' either. Really, there is no need :-)
>>>
>>> And what would be a suitable alternative? -Dinner at Francois's?
>>
>> No! Anything but a place that starts its name with "Chez"!
>> Just don't have it that fluidic. Balance the fluid and the chow so
>> that you don't need the dog later.
>
> Then I'd have to walk around half-crocked with acid indigestion.

That's only when you balance it wrongly. When you try to balance two
weights on a scale, you must not put so much on it that it breaks in
the process.

>>> Whenever I'm faced with such "delicate" questions, I ask myself "Now
>>> what would my Cro-Magnon ancestors recommend?" They always respond
>>
>> "I ask myself [...] They always respond..."
>> You refer to yourself as 'they'? How many of you are there in they?
>
> Neredbojiasi? Oh, thousands. We like to say there's one for every
> occasion, but my allies seem to conveniently vanish during more
> difficult times.

Sounds like you are the one for the difficult occasion.
The other ones are clever.

>>> saying you need only 3 things in life for success: a cave to shelter
>>> your mortal bones, a fire to warm your basic scones, and a good club.
>>> Ergo, I go clubbing.
>>
>> Nothing wrong with clubbing. Just make sure you leave your club at
>> home, as the use of it for picking up women is frowned upon these
>> days.
>
> Uh, they usually pick themselves up. The club is for knocking them
> flat.

Well, yes, that's what I meant. Frowned upon still though.

> Seriously, do you think I'd really bop a woman in the head with a big
> hunk of wood whatever the affinity of each is for the other? I'm a
> sensitive kind of guy, and to prove it, I shall forthwith post yon ode
> to which I erstwhilely referred.

:-)

> A long time ago, said ode was perfidiously purloined from my dominion
> and distributed in an altered form. Despite the fact that this inferior
> version offered a rather lackluster vision at best, it gained
> considerable notoriety among the tea-sipping set who like to peruse
> literature in small swallows. Had they read the original, however, they
> undoubtedly would have choked on their pekoe for it is the real classic
> and something to be remembered evermore! For your pleasure and
> edification, I present simply....
>
> To Ellen
>
> Ellen, thy booty is to me
> Like those sleazier babes of yore
> Who wandered 'long a putrid sea
> In wayworn skirts they waywardly wore
> With backsides turned to shore.
>
> On desperate knees I'd shake and moan
> To mind the hyena's hairy face.
> But naked stares did send me home
> To a gory spam of grease
> And the blandness of corn pone.
>
> Lo! in yon twitching, itching niche,
> A psycho calls, but do I jump?
> Ah, no, my taste is for thy rump,
> Which may present a piled ditch
> But styled hump!

<g>
Does make me wonder what the inferior version of it reads like...

--
Els http://locusmeus.com/
Sonhos vem. Sonhos vão. O resto é imperfeito.
- Renato Russo -

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