Posted by Neredbojias on 09/27/05 19:06

With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:

> >> Like how - you let her wait and she keeps insisting you're
> >> intelligent?
> >
> > Oh har har hardy har har! The point *was* that waiting ain't good for
> > no one.
>
> Your point maybe, not mine. Mine was 'never let a *woman* wait'.

....And my point is that some women *insist* on waiting no matter how
insistent the guy's point becomes!

> > I think many packaged goods, like some cereals and snacks, began their
> > careers in factories.
>
> Well yes, after cornflakes were invented, I imagine they invented the
> chocolate covered ones in the factory. But something basic like pork
> rinds? The first time I ever had them they were home made by my ex'
> grandfather in Brazil. It's what the poor do instead of throwing away
> food. It's only when I got back home that I saw they existed in
> supermarket packets.

Ah, poor... I've been so poor I hadda drink the dregs of the previous
days' beers for breakfast. One time I even ate the corn out of my
frozen dinner. The only snacks we had were candle wax flavored with
Citronella and Milkbone dog biscuits. Finally <sigh>, I got a job.

> > Artificially-flavored vanilla wafers taste better than the natural kind.
>
> Can't say I ever tasted the natural kind - but I think they would be
> better though.

Well, blander for sure.

> >>> You realize that that's why the Scots lost all their wars.
.....
> >>> -They were
> >>> definitely under-armored in the most vulnerable places. At least the
> >>> boys had a nut-guard, although this was probably just a decoration to
> >>> distinguish them from the girls.
> >>
> >> I'd say the unguarded nuts would have been enough to be
> >> distinguished...
> >
> > For sure, but they didn't want all the women to go around lifting up
> > their skirts.
>
> Men are so fussy.

Ticklish, too.

> >> Trick question = hyperbola? <g>
> >
> > Actually, a hyperbola is sort of like a flatter parabola. A parabola
> > may be compared to a woman's buttock when she's on top.
>
> Sure, but what's that got to do with hyperbola wooing?

Actually, the non-geometric construction is "hyperbole". If I said "The
fraternity pledges have been working on the css of the frat house web
site. Would you like to come over and see the new layers?" that *could
be* hyperbole coming from the lips of someone other than my highly-
scrupled self.

> > Hah, you should see me on a skateboard.
>
> mpeg?

No, but sometimes pogo stick.

> I would assume though, that after 20+ years of practice, men would be
> able to aim better.

Well it's pretty hard to maneuver massive things adroitly.

> >>>> Marrying the right person gets you all that and more.
> >>>
> >>> Exactly. -Stew. A man needs a discrete snack every now and then just
> >>> to keep the appetite perky.
> >>
> >> Erm.. I disagree :-)
> >
> > Of course, women always disagree. But ask them to use the same
> > handkerchief over again even once and it's "Oh no! - I can't do that."
>
> And you reckon we'd have less problems using a hanky that's already
> been used *by someone else* ??

No. The point is you want a fresh one because it's smoother on the nose
and smells nicer.

> >>Balance the fluid and the chow so
> >> that you don't need the dog later.
> >
> > Then I'd have to walk around half-crocked with acid indigestion.
>
> That's only when you balance it wrongly. When you try to balance two
> weights on a scale, you must not put so much on it that it breaks in
> the process.

Or you can provide auxiliary support to both platens while tipping the
balance in a favorable direction.

> >>> Whenever I'm faced with such "delicate" questions, I ask myself "Now
> >>> what would my Cro-Magnon ancestors recommend?" They always respond
> >>
> >> "I ask myself [...] They always respond..."
> >> You refer to yourself as 'they'? How many of you are there in they?
> >
> > Neredbojiasi? Oh, thousands. We like to say there's one for every
> > occasion, but my allies seem to conveniently vanish during more
> > difficult times.
>
> Sounds like you are the one for the difficult occasion.
> The other ones are clever.

The other ones are sneaky weasels. Although I don't speak Ostrogothic,
I somewhat suspect that "Neredbojias" is a compound derived of 2 baser
words having less-than-genteel meanings.

> >>> saying you need only 3 things in life for success: a cave to shelter
> >>> your mortal bones, a fire to warm your basic scones, and a good club.
> >>> Ergo, I go clubbing.
> >>
> >> Nothing wrong with clubbing. Just make sure you leave your club at
> >> home, as the use of it for picking up women is frowned upon these
> >> days.
> >
> > Uh, they usually pick themselves up. The club is for knocking them
> > flat.
>
> Well, yes, that's what I meant. Frowned upon still though.

As I intimated before, that's civilization for ya.

.....
> > To Ellen
> >
> > Ellen, thy booty is to me
> > Like those easier babes of yore
> > Who wandered 'long a putrid sea
> > In wayworn skirts they waywardly wore
> > With backsides turned to shore.
> >
> > On desperate knees I'd shake and moan
> > To mind the hyena's hairy face.
> > But naked stares did send me home
> > To a gory spam of grease
> > And the blandness of corn pone.
> >
> > Lo! in yon twitching, itching niche,
> > A psycho calls, but do I jump?
> > Ah, no, my taste is for thy rump,
> > Which may present a piled ditch
> > But styled hump!
>
> <g>
> Does make me wonder what the inferior version of it reads like...

Ahh, don't bother. It's as boring as hell and places some broad on a
pedestal where modern-day women admit they don't belong.

--
Neredbojias
Contrary to popular belief, it is believable.

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