Posted by ThePsyko on 10/01/05 19:34

On 30 Sep 2005 in alt.2600, Terrence Cooter
<fly_cooter_@example.localhost> made their contribution to mankind by
stating in news:433e16fd@usenet.zapto.org:

> Vote for these people tomorrow.
>
> Matthew Moulton: KOOK of the MONTH Every month special recognition is
> given to someone whose Usenet Kookery is judged to have surpassed all
> others. This is the Kook of the Month Award (KotM), voted (somewhat
> informally) by the denizens of AUK.
>
> WFB/TJ: CLUELESS NEWBIE of the MONTH Similar to KotM, but reserved
> only for the most highly clueless and incorrigible newbies of Usenet.
> The Clueless Newbie of the Month (CNotM) is pretty much the same sort
> of thing as the KotM, but honors spectacular cluelessness on Usenet
> rather than Kookery. Actually being a newbie is not a strict
> requirement for eligibility; but the type of cluelessness being
> recognized needs to be of the sort typical of newbies. If someone has
> been on the net for some time and still acts like a newbie, they're
> eligible.
>
> Dave Hillstrom: COWARD of the MONTH Goes to the biggest yellow bastard
> of the month on Usenet. The CotM has aslo been known as the "Brad
> Jesness" award.
>
> Sycho: GOLDEN KILLFILE Given to the most killfile worthy net.kooks on
> the face of Usenet. This award recognizes exceptional killfilable
> merit; if you are unworthy enough to be ignored by everyone on the
> face of the earth, you are eligible for this award.
>
> Matthew Moulton: VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN "WEIRD SCIENCE" AWARD Given
> to those inspired, pioneering visionaries and their worthy inventions,
> institutions and prides-of-joys, who have reasoned it out, who KNOW
> The Answer, that would know how to use it to make for a better
> humanity....if only somebody would listen to them.
>
> Matthew Moulton: KOOK of the YEAR A just reward for the best KotM of
> the year.
>
> -- Internet Awards --
>
> Kadaitcha Man: LOONEY MAROON AWARD For the greatest net.loon of the
> month, including but not limited to KotM candidates. Formerly given by
> reverse-acclaim, executive designation and outright acclamation, now
> reserved solely for the wild whims of the AUK populace. This award is
> generally given to the least comprehensible candidates.
>
> Spanky the Thunder Chicken: PALMJOB PADDLE Named for the most-spanked
> person in the history of the Internet, Wilhelm Palmer (Bill Palmer,
> aka "Palmjob"). The self-styled Flame Giant, who has never won a
> single flamewar in his existence. This award is given to the person
> who gets spanked (as in, thrashed) the most in a given month, be it by
> their opponents or even their own hand.
>
> Terrence Cooter: HAMMER of THOR Awarded on an as-needed basis for
> exceptional feats of LART strength.
>
> -- Lifetime Achievement --
>
> Kadaitcha Man: BOBO AWARD Given to they who rise above and beyond the
> call of net.looniness, the Bobo is reserved for those whose sheer
> quest at whatever it is they're pursuing knows Absolutely No Bounds,
> crossing the lines of legal dispute, losing everything in particular,
> even death. Several Bobo honorees are, in fact, deceased. Think of it
> as the Internet's version of the Darwin Award.
>
> PJR: BUSTED URINAL AWARD The reward for the Lamest of the Lame on the
> Internet. One who clogs and stinks up the joint like a busted urinal,
> you could say.
>
> Matthew Moulton: UNABOMBER SURPRISE A fitting presentation to those
> most gifted with the Long Wind, they who have the unique talent of
> saying in a million words that which could have been said in one.
>
> ThePsyko: BOLO BULLIS "FOAM DUCK" PRIZE The spoonerism for "dumb
> fuck", for those who've lost more marbles than a Chinese Checker
> factory will ever make. Given in form of reversed reverse-acclamation.
>
> BUZZARD: TAR & FEATHERS Reserved solely for the Terminally Clueless on
> the net, those most highly incorrigible past all hope crusaders who in
> another time and reality would've been tarred and feathered and ridden
> out of town on a rail. Preferably one with a bridge out. Over a
> canyon.
>
> -- Samaritan Awards --
>
> Terrence Cooter: GENE SPAFFORD "USENET SAMARITAN" AWARD Not counted as
> a Kook award, but given to whoever shows the greatest helpfulness
> towards Usenet in any given lifetime.
>
> Terrence Cooter: JIM NITCHALS "INTERNET SAMARITAN" AWARD The netwide
> version of the Spaffie, named in memory of the man who showed the
> civilized side of\ spamfighting.
>
> -- Memorial Awards --
>
> Kadaitcha Man: EARL GORDON CURLEY MEMORIAL AWARD Commonly referred to
> as the Curley Award, it is used to commemorate those most emulative of
> Earl Curley, a substance-abusing incoherent crook with delusions of
> godhead with a penchant for censoring all possible opposing viewpoints
> notwithstanding the highly strange ones he himself held. This once
> proud KotM alumnus mastered in the art of sock puppetry, participated
> in mildly amusing but mostly painful websites and had an unerring
> ability towards self-destructive behavior to get back at his
> opponents. It is called Curley's MEMORIAL Award because he is quite
> literally very Dead, the end result of his exhilarting rise in
> net.kookery. Or, as the newsmedia put it simply, "died suddenly". As
> the only one who's gone this far above and beyond the call of
> net.kookery, he deserves an award in his honor, for aspiring net.loons
> everywhere.
>
> Sean Monaghan: GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD Given to
> those brave, inspiring crusaders who will keep up a lost lunatic cause
> despite all odds, even after the enemy has won, set up their own
> superpower in their midst and are chugging Guinness in a Kook-free
> world scenario.
>
> Matthew Moulton: KENNY McCORMICK MEMORIAL MEDAL Named after the famed
> South Park boy wonder, this medal is given to they who lose 5 or more
> Internet accounts as a result of their net.kookery, but keep coming
> back for more, to be killed off again and again and again.
>
> Woodchuck Bill: GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY For that which does the
> greatest impression of Pickett's Charge in any given month.
>
> Matthew Moulton: DOUGLAS E. MACKALL MEMORIAL MACE Named for the dearly
> departed denizen of AUK whose vision of net.loon-free Usenet posting
> freedom helped make AUK the place it is today. Given to that which has
> proven itself most worthy of being ignored by every ISP abuse
> department on the face of the net.
>
> The anal pineapple was not on the list, but that nomination goes to
> Pinku Sensei.
>

My name is ThePsyko and I approve of this psot.

--
ThePsyko
Public Enemy #7
http://prozac.iscool.net

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