Posted by Sean Monaghan on 10/08/05 16:51

[Forwarded results. It looks like Fly Cooter has broken the record for
the most kook award victories in a single month - *seven* awards. The
previous record was for five kook awards (and two offices), originally
set by Emmett Gulley, and recently tied by Steve "BowTie" Young.]

Friendly Neighbourhood Vote Wrangler wrote:

> The time has come to announce the winners of the September 2005 Usenet
> Kook Awards.
>
> *ahem*
>
>
> KOOK OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>
> Fly Cooter . . . . . . . 31
> Brad Guth . . . . . . . 11
> neither of the above . . 4
>
> Congratulations, Poofter!
>
>
> CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>
> Fly Cooter . . . . . . . . . 21
> alt.astronomy saucerheads . . 15
> Nunya Bidness . . . . . . . . 8
> none of the above . . . . . . 2
>
> Congratulations, Socky! Have you worked out yet that an URL in a .sig
> isn't spam?
>
>
> COWARD OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>
> Fly Cooter . . . . . . . . 21
> Tom Bishop, alias Jinn . . 14
> NunYa Bidness . . . . . . 6
> Don Ocean . . . . . . . . 5
> none of the above . . . . 4
>
> Congratulations, Poofter! You just won the top three awards. Don't
> forget to tell Mommy.
>
>
> GOLDEN KILLFILE
>
> The winner is... SYLVIA SULLIVAN!
>
> Yes . . 32
> No . . 9
>
> Congratulations, Psylvia! Are you psboring or pswhat?
>
>
> VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN "WEIRD SCIENCE" AWARD
>
> The winner is... NIGHTBAT!
>
> nightbat . . . . . . . . 16
> Twonky . . . . . . . . . 12
> neither of the above . . 6
>
> Congratulations, fr00tbat! Please don't hit us with one of your black
> comets as revenge.
>
>
> BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>
> The winner is... SYLVIA SULLIVAN!
>
> Sylvia Sullivan . . . . . . . . . . 18
> Raymond Ronald Karczewski . . . . . 13
> Gordon Radavich, alias The Revd . . 4
> none of the above . . . . . . . . . 3
>
> HI PSYLVIA! THE USENET GANGS OFFER THEIR CONGRATULATIONS!
>
>
> BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>
> The winner is... GORDON RADAVICH!
>
> Gordon Radavich, alias The Revd . . . . 14
> NunYa Bidness . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
> Warhol . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
> Chris Assaf, alias A Former Atheist . . 2
> none of the above . . . . . . . . . . . 5
>
> Congratulations, Gordy. Am I a Jew, btw?
>
>
> BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>
> The winner is... GERALD NEWTON!
>
> Yes . . 38
> No . . 2
>
> Congratulations, G-Dolf! You're definitely in the Bullis class - i.e.,
> first grade, or maybe kindergarten.
>
>
> UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>
> The winner is... DAVID THOLEN!
>
> Yes . . 32
> No . . 4
>
> Pleace to be digesting all the voters, Davie!
>
>
> TAR & FEATHERS
>
> The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>
> Yes . . 41
> No . . 3
>
> Congratulations, Poofter! Rarely has such lameness been seen on
> Usenet.
>
>
> KENNY McCORMICK MEMORIAL MEDAL
>
> The winner is... UNI!
>
> Yes . . 31
> No . . 3
>
> Well done, Unitard! Maybe you can contrive to lose another five
> accounts soon.
>
>
> GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>
> The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>
> Yes . . 38
> No . . 5
>
> Congratulations on defeating yourself by a knockout, Poofter!
>
>
> PALMJOB PADDLE
>
> The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>
> Yes . . 38
> No . . 4
>
> Poofter lost a flame war against Hatter. Against Hatter! He lost a
> flame war against Hatter! Words fail me.
>
>
> ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
>
> The winner is... GERALD NEWTON!
>
> Yes . . 32
> No . . 5
>
> Congratulations, Geraldine! Your Psylvia sock is overdue for
> retirement, IMO.
>
>
> GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
>
> The winner is... COLONEL JAKE!
>
> Colonel Jake . . . . . . . . . . 14
> Lightwing, alias his_elect_07 . . 12
> neither of the above . . . . . . 5
>
> Well done, Jake! VK all the gibberish-generating way!
>
>
> 72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
>
> The winner is... LIGHTWING!
>
> Lightwing, alias his_elect_07 . . 15
> Dore Williamson . . . . . . . . . 14
> neither of the above . . . . . . 4
>
> Congratulations, Prince! Can anyone join your church of the holy
> asterisk, or does one have to be insane?
>
>
> JOSEPH BARTLO "PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE" AWARD
>
> The winners are... FLY COOTER and ONIDEUS MAD HATTER!
>
> Fly Cooter & Onideus Mad Hatter . . 23
> Uni . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
> Alan Connor . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
> Moris, alias superglue . . . . . . 4
> none of the above . . . . . . . . . 2
>
> Congratulations, bois! Have you considered visiting a marriage
> guidance counsellor together?
>
>
> SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>
> The winners are... VITO KUHN and THE FAM.* HIERARCHY!
>
> Vito Kuhn & fam.* . . . 24
> Gerald Newton . . . . . 10
> neither of the above . . 3
>
> Congratulations, Frito! This is probably the first time a whole
> hierarchy has been spanked out of existence by a small number of
> posts about wood. How sad!
>
>
> TONY SIDAWAY MEMORIAL "DRAMA QUEEN" AWARD
>
> The winner is... GERALD NEWTON!
>
> Gerald Newton . . . . . . . . 19
> Raymond Ronald Karczewski . . 12
> nightbat . . . . . . . . . . 7
> none of the above . . . . . . 1
>
> Congratulations, Gerry! Oh wait, Gerry has left for ever. Oh wait, no,
> he's back. Oh wait...
>
>
> BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG WHISTLE
>
> The winners are... UNI, and his trainer, ARATZIO!
>
> Uni, trained by Aratzio . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
> Chuck Lysaght, trained by K A Cannon . . . . . 12
> Joseph Bartlo, trained by Cujo DeSockpuppet . . 9
> none of the above . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
>
> Congratulations to Aratzio on a fine training performance!
>
>
> OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>
> The appointee is... SYLVIA SULLIVAN!
>
> Sylvia Sullivan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
> John Bunt, alias Guy Fawkes . . . . . . . . . 12
> Robert Wolfe, alias Michael Davis Disorder . . 8
>
> Congratulations, Psylvia!
>
>
> OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>
> The appointee is... CHUCK LYSAGHT!
>
> Chuck Lysaght, alias the messenjah . . 15
> Kenneth R Pangborn . . . . . . . . . . 14
> Gerald Newton . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
>
> Congratulations, Chucknozzle! Now that you no longer share this Office
> with Kenny, you're really ALONE.
>
>
> PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>
> The result is... a TIE!
>
> Gary L. Burnore & DataBasix . . . . . . 12
> Kadaitcha Man & Fred Tehbot . . . . . . 12
> Jimmy Snibbler, alias Charles Newton . . 5
> none of the above . . . . . . . . . . . 5
>
> The best 404 page and the best bot are both rewarded. Well done!
>
>
> HAMMER OF THOR
>
> The winners are... ART DECO!
>
> Yes . . 35
> No . . 6
>
> ...and BOB OFFICER!
>
> Yes . . 33
> No . . 8
>
> ...and ARCHIE LEACH!
>
> Yes . . 26
> No . . 9
>
> Congratulations! I wish all three of you many more years of happy
> kook-smacking.
>
>
> This concludes the results of the September ballot. Three of the 55
> ballot papers received were considered invalid. The next ballot will
> appear on a date that the Usenet ghouls will be unable to predict.
> Until then, farewell!



--
Sean Monaghan
http://www.petitmorte.net/sean
AUK Hammer of Thor - August 2005
PSM Hook, Line & Sinker Award - March, July & August 2005

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