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Posted by Bent Stigsen on 10/23/65 11:50
Visionary wrote:
> I agree accessibility should be a concern during the process of
> developing a website. And I agree I haven't been around here long. I
> agree with most of what's been said honestly. So far though I can see
> the welcoming comittee here isn't so... Welcome.
The welcoming committee only respond to things like "Hi, I am new here" or
similar. Posting a recruitment for people to join some team of yours, as
your very first post, does not warrant a cuddly hug.
There is a general tendency of quid pro quo. In that, if you show interest
in the group and its ideals, then the group might show interest in you, and
in any case will be much more lenient to what is perceived as breach of
proper conduct.
> I can tell when people want others to bow down to them, and
> acknoweledge their status and accomplishments. I can tell by not doing
> it, and the type of responses one gets. So far I've been shown that
> everyone here is bright, and cocky. Only judgements and sour critiques
> (true as they may be) have been passed. No "Hey that looks nice", "I
> think I know a couple people who might be interested", etc. Not that I
> want that, just noting a fact that fits in with the judgement I'm now
> passing.
You are not being very fair in your judgment. You can't expect people to
give what you *don't* ask for, and then use it to make judgment.
> The first reply was pretty unwelcoming. The rest of the comments were
> belittling in subtle ways. It appears I've encroached on "hostile"
> territory. True as it may be that you guys would help others when they
> have a PHP problem, you sure don't know how to show manners to
> newcomers. I guess you have enough members here, and you don't really
> care anymore about new people.
What? You get a bit of a cold shoulder, then conclude we are some weird
cranky people, and assume we are like that towards other people as well.
> Funny that I simply came here to see if anyone would be interested in
> joining a team, and instead the hounds pounce on me like I was a
> burglar in the night. Guess I'll try elsewhere, and if that fails I'll
> have to take on more tasks.
>
> Thanks for your time, and the helpful thoughts you shared.
Regardless how you feel about the criticism you have gotten, agreeing with
it or not, it is still a reflection of how people might react in places
where certain rules of etiquette apply. Whether you like it or not, what
you want or think is utterly irrelevant, since you're just some random John
Smith. Implying people are narcissistic, judgmental, badmannered, or
whatever, just because you don't get gratification, is in itself breach of
etiquette, and only makes things worse.
Same thing apply in the real world. If you walk into some strangers house,
and they tell you to take off your shoes, you *don't* start arguing that it
is a stupid rule, that the carpet is ugly anyway, that they aren't being
very hospitable or being jerks. If you do, you will find yourself escorted
out or perhaps get yourself a punch smack in the kisser.
So in all seriousness, if you want better response here or somewhere else,
do take some time in getting to know the community you choose to step into.
--
/Bent
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