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Posted by Neredbojias on 09/17/05 02:43
With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
> Neredbojias wrote:
>
> >>>>> A gentleman doesn't go beyond a certain point in mixed company. With
> >>>>> regards to speaking indiscretely, the nobility of my gentility precludes
> >>>>> the facility of my ability.
> >>>>
> >>>> As it should.
> >>>
> >>> Yes, but only for gentlemen. A regular person doesn't give a crap.
> >>
> >> That would be me.
> >
> > You mean you're not a gentleman?
>
> I thought you'd have figured that much by now...
I did, but when you said "That would be me,"...
Identity crisis?
>
> >>>> Or so I've been told.
> >>>
> >>> Men'll say anything.
> >>
> >> to get what they want.
> >
> > Of course. It's part of our chutzpah, our charisma, and our chinchilla-
> > like charm. Would you prefer us *not* to say anything to get what we
> > want?
>
> That's a trick question.
No, a trick question is when you ask a hooker what her price is.
>
> >> I was gonna say - accusing me of having an American accent?
> >
> > Not with all those hard consonants. Y'all hafta drawl a little, like
> > you got phlegm in your gullet and it's used to being exercised.
>
> You're good at describing accents.
Thanks. I've always been rather interested in the abilities of the
throat.
>
> >>> I reside in Arizona where there are a lot of Navajos. Not one ever called
> >>> me "White Eyes" and the majority of them don't even mention my tongue.
> >>
> >> What does the minority of them say about your tongue?
> >
> > The usual. -Long, sharp, and very talented.
>
> Got just the thing for you then:
> http://locusmeus.com/misc/s.jpg
I'm more of a beer-and-pork-rinds person when it comes to condiments.
>
> > I'm not a woman, General or otherwise. However, if someone were to
> > offer me an 8- or 9-digit figure, I just might consider a surrogate
> > performance.
>
> You said you had a price, but never knew it would be that steep!
When you set your sights high, the climb may be steep but the conquest
on top is worth it.
>
> [absolutely worst gangsters of all time were all named "Dutch"]
> >>> Just think how much worse these guys would
> >>> have turned out had they been German.
> >>
> >> Erm.. yes. (?)
> >
> > Just imagine a bunch of mobsters named "Dutch" being a bunch of mobsters
> > named "Germ". Argh, it gives my hemorrhoids goose bumps.
>
> Okay, got it.
The prophet Mohammed is merciful and benevolent.
>
> >>> Well, since the nether lands were no longer available, the only other
> >>> logical choice was Australia, to which they gleefully sailed.
> >>> Unfortunately, due to the rotund nature of their overstuffed gastro-
> >>> intestinal regions, the Australians thought that they were a virulent
> >>> strain of some weird mutant marsupial and kicked them out. Eventually
> >>> they ended up in Africa sweltering on the veldt until someone realized
> >>> that going south there was like going north up over, and they finally
> >>> settled in a more reasonable, albeit strange, land they were going to
> >>> name "Holeland" but didn't.
> >>
> >> If only I'd have had you as a history teacher when I was still in
> >> school...
> >
> > ...you probably would have been disciplined accordingly.
>
> :-)
>
> >>>>> Yeah, it's always the man's fault... Da de da de da. The fact
> >>>>> is that men are usually the victims of a woman's wiles
> >>>>
> >>>> I'm inclined to generally agree with you on that, but..
> >>>
> >>> Is this an admission of guilt or an admission of callousness?
> >>
> >> The latter of course. Guilt doesn't come into it, it's not my fault
> >> I'm a woman.
> >
> > -And it's a man's fault for trying to sow his seed as best he can?
>
> Not really.
Glad we agree. Men are the planters that plant the seeds, women are the
loam in which the seeds grow, and anything else is just so much
fertilizer.
>
> > Let's face it, both sexes are just victims of biological impulses beyond
> > their ability to mitigate so the best thing to do is to "go with the
> > flow" and be happy. As they say in Germany, "the wurst comes first."
>
> <g>
> If you'd make that 'as they say in Holland', you wouldn't have had to
> change the vowel :-)
"Wirst"? Unfortunately, when I was over in that neck of the woods, I
never got to visit Holland. Some of the boys went to Amsterdam, but
when they came back they didn't exactly talk about windmills and
dialects.
>
> [men]
> >>> Well, they start out nice but women ruin them.
> >>
> >> We only honour the requests. Ever seen the face of a man who's just
> >> been called 'nice' by a woman?
> >
> > No, but I've seen some pretty nice asses on women who called me other
> > things to my face.
>
> Your point being.. ?
It's better to be specific when you're calling something "nice". For
instance, if you eyeballed a man's muscles and told him he had a nice
bulge, his face would beam with delight.
>
> >>>>> (Of course, they probably don't want to get cut off, either.)
> >>>>
> >>>> You mean that men would complain even more than they do already, if
> >>>> only they had the guts?
> >>>
> >>> Men don't complain; they merely point out observed negatives in a
> >>> logical and concise manner.
> >>
> >> I must have met the wrong men.
> >
> > It sounds like it. A good man knows how to tolerate a woman without
> > offending her, at least until the relationship is consummated.
>
> Ah, I did meet the right men then. You hadn't stated the consummated
> clause before.
Well, one should be non-offensive afterwards, too, of course. It's just
not as critical.
>
> >>> Furthermore, men ain't afraid of nothing.
> >>
> >> Men are afraid of baby diapers, women's lingo, and commitments.
> >> Unfortunately for men, these three things seem to go hand in hand
> >> quite often. Ultimate fright.
> >
> > Baby diapers are for diaper services, women's lingo is for women, and
> > commitments are for people who need to be institutionalized because
> > their brains malfunction too often.
>
> Rationalized primal fears.
Aversion or repugnance is not fear. I may avoid a glob of vomit on a
sizzling summer sidewalk, but I'm not afraid of it. (To be honest,
though, if I see maggots, my stomach churns a little.)
>
> >>> I can show you plenty of men who have more gut
> >>> than you would wish to deal with.
> >>
> >> Most people have - one reason I didn't become a surgeon.
> >
> > Yes. I didn't become a proctologist for a similar reason.
>
> I can understand that. But what's your reason for not becoming a
> gynaecologist?
Familiarity breeds contempt and I certainly didn't want to breed *that*
when I fooled around with gynecologisms.
--
Neredbojias
Contrary to popular belief, it is believable.
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