|
|
Posted by Neredbojias on 11/14/12 11:27
With neither quill nor qualm, Els quothed:
> Neredbojias wrote:
>
> >>>> Trying to learn Dutch should be the ultimate experiment for you.
> >>>
> >>> How about this:
> >>>
> >>> "Yeep glocken! Thoust feet-glumps maket da awful racket and t'smell
> >>> like stinky bottomland, toot!"
> >>
> >> Not quite.
> >
> > Ohhh, I'm so disappointed.
>
> Tough.
You are so compassionate.
> >> Although it does remind me of a series of Oranjeboom ads on the London
> >> Underground. They don't seem to be documented anywhere online, or at
> >> least I can't find any other info than just people on Usenet who, like
> >> me, are trying to find them.
> >> They were short sentences, made up from actual Dutch words, which only
> >> made sense in English. Can't stand the fact I can't find them on the
> >> web though, they were funny imo.
> >
> > Such as "I like corn flakes. I edam everyday."?
>
> Almost, except that that's only one Dutch word, and it results in
> American English, while the ads were in English.
>
> More like "Hou dus won drink Oranjeboom wit uit spil link half?"
Hole d'jour knows?
> > Or "The old codger had a windmill in his pants."?
> >
> > Um, kinda juvenile.
>
> Kinda, yes.
>
> >>>>> I'm more of a beer-and-pork-rinds person when it comes to condiments.
> >>>>
> >>>> I'll just have the pork rinds thanks, you can have the beer.
> >>>
> >>> Wow, most women I've met can't stand pork rinds.
> >>
> >> I don't see why, really, don't they eat bacon either then?
> >
> > Sometimes the man don't bring it home in time for the peak of their
> > appetite.
>
> Those men aren't very smart. Should never let a woman wait.
That's what I keep telling my girlfriend but she doesn't see the light.
> >> I tried to make them myself, but never got them as good as the ones
> >> you get from the butcher's. No idea what I was doing wrong.
> >
> > Over here we call 'em fried pork rinds and they come in a bag like
> > potato chips. They're light and crispy and definitely not procured from
> > a butcher (-unless the clerk is a serial killer, of course.)
>
> We get both - the ones in the chips bag, from the supermarket, and the
> butcher's got them 'home made'.
I never even knew there was "home made" pork rinds. I'll bet they're
better, too.
> >> I do like the pricey drinks, true - but cheap vodka will do just as
> >> well. I learnt to drink it in Israel, where it was a lot cheaper than
> >> beer.
> >
> > We got something over here called "hootch" which is probably rather
> > equivalent. If you live, it's great.
>
> I lived :-)
Well, you can also wish you didn't...
> >>> I learned that one morning after apparently having climbed
> >>> upon 200 pounds of nefarious night-lifer.
> >>
> >> Sounds like a very good reason to limit the alcohol intake on a night
> >> out.
> >
> > Not hardly. Now I just keep a scale in the trunk.
>
> If you can't tell without a scale, you're probably too drunk to use
> one.
Um, good point. Maybe I'll have a new door installed on my flat with
the "max-width" option.
> >>>> If I have to believe television and women's mags, a strong
> >>>> de-fertilizer would be the wearing of white socks and loafers.
> >>>
> >>> Yes, but knee socks and patent-leathers would probably be worse.
> >>
> >> No idea, never heard/read that - maybe those are so bad, that they
> >> can't even be talked about.
> >
> > Who usually wears knee socks and patent leather shoes? -Young girls.
> > If a man wore them...
>
> http://tinyurl.com/7n6nr
You realize that that's why the Scots lost all their wars. -They were
definitely under-armored in the most vulnerable places. At least the
boys had a nut-guard, although this was probably just a decoration to
distinguish them from the girls.
> >>>> (and then maybe have Amsterdam for dessert)
> >>>
> >>> Mmm, don't think so. Sex arcades don't impress me.
> >>
> >> Amsterdam is more than just that. You don't think I would go to the
> >> red light district when I go to Amsterdam, do you?
> >
> > Is this a trick question, too?
>
> There are no trick questions outside the red light district.
> Or at least, there shouldn't be.
Well it'd be a bit rude to walk up to a wee fair lassie and say, "What's
under my kilt is as hard as a stilt." Hyperbola is often the correct
course of action when doing your wooing.
> >> I go to look at the
> >> tourists, have a picknick in the park, enjoy the buskers' acts, browse
> >> the markets, sometimes I go for concerts.. mostly for the atmosphere
> >> though. Very different from other places in Holland.
> >
> > It sounds like you like to travel.
>
> True, but since I'm sort of house-bound by two small humanoids, I have
> to fake travel by visiting Amsterdam or London.
Heck, I now consider "travelling" hopping on a shopping cart to ride the
downhill trail to my car parked at the supermarket.
> > I used to, but now I'm more of a
> > "home-body" type. And, personally, I get all the atmosphere I want in
> > the bathroom.
>
> Reading atmosphere and bathroom in the same sentence gives me images
> of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Bathrooms like that only exist on
> TV afaik.
Men don't really much notice the decor in such places. If it's got
something porcelain, you just sort of aim at it and proceed on from
there.
> >>>>> It's better to be specific when you're calling something "nice".
> >>>>
> >>>> I meant to call the man himself 'nice'. So far I haven't seen any men
> >>>> who like that.
> >>>
> >>> They likely interpret it as a lessening of their chances for a romp in
> >>> the hay. Next time look down a little and say "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!"
> >>> and you'll probably get a more positive response.
> >>
> >> No kidding.
> >
> > Seriously! -Aw, you're just trying to pull my leg.
>
> Sorry, hope you didn't fall over?
Still afoot, but the panic lingers.
> >> Not all men are like that. Some actually would like to be married for
> >> life.
> >
> > What on earth for? That's the same as saying "I like
> > liverwurst/worst/wirst and I'm not going to consume anything else for my
> > entire life." Wouldn't it be nice to have a pizza once in awhile, or
> > even a can of tuna?
>
> Marrying the right person gets you all that and more.
Exactly. -Stew. A man needs a discrete snack every now and then just
to keep the appetite perky.
> >>>>> (To be honest,
> >>>>> though, if I see maggots, my stomach churns a little.)
> >>>>
> >>>> Maggots should be banned from visibility. Nay, make that banned from
> >>>> existence. All they do is turn into flies anyway.
> >>>
> >>> But without flies, who would eat all the dog poop?
> >>
> >> I don't think we really need dogs either.
> >
> > Oh, but we do! They provide good camouflage for those delightfully
> > fluidic nights I come home and don't quite make it into the house before
> > having to unload.
>
> You're not getting it - you don't need 'delightfully fluidic nights'
> that urge you to 'unload' either. Really, there is no need :-)
And what would be a suitable alternative? -Dinner at Francois's?
Whenever I'm faced with such "delicate" questions, I ask myself "Now
what would my Cro-Magnon ancestors recommend?" They always respond by
saying you need only 3 things in life for success: a cave to shelter
your mortal bones, a fire to warm your basic scones, and a good club.
Ergo, I go clubbing.
--
Neredbojias
Contrary to popular belief, it is believable.
Navigation:
[Reply to this message]
|