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Posted by Yomamma Bin Crawdaddin on 10/09/05 09:27
On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 04:59:20 GMT, Rev Turd Fredericks
<turdfred2@catholic.org> wrote:
>Terrence Cooter wrote:
>> In article <xn0e88q471cyva000@kookology.info>, sean@petitmorte.net says...
>>
>>>
>>>[Forwarded results. It looks like Fly Cooter has broken the record for
>>>the most kook award victories in a single month - *seven* awards.
>>
>>
>> Seven virtual awards with no recognition from any accredited body. The
>> vote count was way off too.
>>
>>
>> The
>>
>>>previous record was for five kook awards (and two offices), originally
>>>set by Emmett Gulley, and recently tied by Steve "BowTie" Young.]
>>
>>
>>
>> What the fuck are you writing an almanac?
>>
>>
>>>Friendly Neighbourhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>The time has come to announce the winners of the September 2005 Usenet
>>>>Kook Awards.
>>>>
>>>>*ahem*
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>KOOK OF THE MONTH
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>>>>
>>>> Fly Cooter . . . . . . . 31
>>>> Brad Guth . . . . . . . 11
>>>> neither of the above . . 4
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Poofter!
>>>>
>>
>>
>> Why don't I see TestiClees on there?
>>
>>
>>>>CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>>>>
>>>> Fly Cooter . . . . . . . . . 21
>>>> alt.astronomy saucerheads . . 15
>>>> Nunya Bidness . . . . . . . . 8
>>>> none of the above . . . . . . 2
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Socky! Have you worked out yet that an URL in a .sig
>>>>isn't spam?
>>
>>
>> If the signature is deformed, it isn't a signature. Cunt.
>>
>>
>>
>>>>COWARD OF THE MONTH
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>>>>
>>>> Fly Cooter . . . . . . . . 21
>>>> Tom Bishop, alias Jinn . . 14
>>>> NunYa Bidness . . . . . . 6
>>>> Don Ocean . . . . . . . . 5
>>>> none of the above . . . . 4
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Poofter! You just won the top three awards. Don't
>>>>forget to tell Mommy.
>>>>
>>
>>
>> Where's Dave Hillstrom?
>>
>>
>>
>>>>GOLDEN KILLFILE
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... SYLVIA SULLIVAN!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 32
>>>> No . . 9
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Psylvia! Are you psboring or pswhat?
>>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> You goons should give up trying to rewrite the English language.
>>
>>
>>>>VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN "WEIRD SCIENCE" AWARD
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... NIGHTBAT!
>>>>
>>>> nightbat . . . . . . . . 16
>>>> Twonky . . . . . . . . . 12
>>>> neither of the above . . 6
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, fr00tbat! Please don't hit us with one of your black
>>>>comets as revenge.
>>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Where's TestiClees?
>>
>>
>>>>BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... SYLVIA SULLIVAN!
>>>>
>>>> Sylvia Sullivan . . . . . . . . . . 18
>>>> Raymond Ronald Karczewski . . . . . 13
>>>> Gordon Radavich, alias The Revd . . 4
>>>> none of the above . . . . . . . . . 3
>>>>
>>>>HI PSYLVIA! THE USENET GANGS OFFER THEIR CONGRATULATIONS!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... GORDON RADAVICH!
>>>>
>>>> Gordon Radavich, alias The Revd . . . . 14
>>>> NunYa Bidness . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
>>>> Warhol . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
>>>> Chris Assaf, alias A Former Atheist . . 2
>>>> none of the above . . . . . . . . . . . 5
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Gordy. Am I a Jew, btw?
>>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Are you anti semetic?
>>
>>
>>>>BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... GERALD NEWTON!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 38
>>>> No . . 2
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, G-Dolf! You're definitely in the Bullis class - i.e.,
>>>>first grade, or maybe kindergarten.
>>>>
>>
>>
>> Where's The Psyko?
>>
>>
>>>>UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... DAVID THOLEN!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 32
>>>> No . . 4
>>>>
>>>>Pleace to be digesting all the voters, Davie!
>>
>>
>>
>> Where's TestiClees?
>>
>>
>>>>TAR & FEATHERS
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 41
>>>> No . . 3
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Poofter! Rarely has such lameness been seen on
>>>>Usenet.
>>>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Where's Buzzard?
>>
>>
>>>>KENNY McCORMICK MEMORIAL MEDAL
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... UNI!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 31
>>>> No . . 3
>>>>
>>>>Well done, Unitard! Maybe you can contrive to lose another five
>>>>accounts soon.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 38
>>>> No . . 5
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations on defeating yourself by a knockout, Poofter!
>>>>
>>
>>
>> Where's Woodhcuck?
>>
>>
>>>>PALMJOB PADDLE
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... FLY COOTER!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 38
>>>> No . . 4
>>>>
>>>>Poofter lost a flame war against Hatter. Against Hatter! He lost a
>>>>flame war against Hatter! Words fail me.
>>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> There wasn't ever any war, drama queen.
>>
>>
>>>>ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... GERALD NEWTON!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 32
>>>> No . . 5
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Geraldine! Your Psylvia sock is overdue for
>>>>retirement, IMO.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... COLONEL JAKE!
>>>>
>>>> Colonel Jake . . . . . . . . . . 14
>>>> Lightwing, alias his_elect_07 . . 12
>>>> neither of the above . . . . . . 5
>>>>
>>>>Well done, Jake! VK all the gibberish-generating way!
>>>>
>>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Where's TestiClees?
>>
>>
>>
>>>>72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... LIGHTWING!
>>>>
>>>> Lightwing, alias his_elect_07 . . 15
>>>> Dore Williamson . . . . . . . . . 14
>>>> neither of the above . . . . . . 4
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Prince! Can anyone join your church of the holy
>>>>asterisk, or does one have to be insane?
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>JOSEPH BARTLO "PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE" AWARD
>>>>
>>>>The winners are... FLY COOTER and ONIDEUS MAD HATTER!
>>>>
>>>> Fly Cooter & Onideus Mad Hatter . . 23
>>>> Uni . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
>>>> Alan Connor . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
>>>> Moris, alias superglue . . . . . . 4
>>>> none of the above . . . . . . . . . 2
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, bois! Have you considered visiting a marriage
>>>>guidance counsellor together?
>>>>
>>
>>
>> This one in the only one that fucking pisses me off. And where's Pinko?
>>
>>
>>
>>>>SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>>>>
>>>>The winners are... VITO KUHN and THE FAM.* HIERARCHY!
>>>>
>>>> Vito Kuhn & fam.* . . . 24
>>>> Gerald Newton . . . . . 10
>>>> neither of the above . . 3
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Frito! This is probably the first time a whole
>>>>hierarchy has been spanked out of existence by a small number of
>>>>posts about wood. How sad!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>TONY SIDAWAY MEMORIAL "DRAMA QUEEN" AWARD
>>>>
>>>>The winner is... GERALD NEWTON!
>>>>
>>>> Gerald Newton . . . . . . . . 19
>>>> Raymond Ronald Karczewski . . 12
>>>> nightbat . . . . . . . . . . 7
>>>> none of the above . . . . . . 1
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Gerry! Oh wait, Gerry has left for ever. Oh wait, no,
>>>>he's back. Oh wait...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG WHISTLE
>>>>
>>>>The winners are... UNI, and his trainer, ARATZIO!
>>>>
>>>> Uni, trained by Aratzio . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
>>>> Chuck Lysaght, trained by K A Cannon . . . . . 12
>>>> Joseph Bartlo, trained by Cujo DeSockpuppet . . 9
>>>> none of the above . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations to Aratzio on a fine training performance!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>>>>
>>>>The appointee is... SYLVIA SULLIVAN!
>>>>
>>>> Sylvia Sullivan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
>>>> John Bunt, alias Guy Fawkes . . . . . . . . . 12
>>>> Robert Wolfe, alias Michael Davis Disorder . . 8
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Psylvia!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>>>>
>>>>The appointee is... CHUCK LYSAGHT!
>>>>
>>>> Chuck Lysaght, alias the messenjah . . 15
>>>> Kenneth R Pangborn . . . . . . . . . . 14
>>>> Gerald Newton . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations, Chucknozzle! Now that you no longer share this Office
>>>>with Kenny, you're really ALONE.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>>>>
>>>>The result is... a TIE!
>>>>
>>>> Gary L. Burnore & DataBasix . . . . . . 12
>>>> Kadaitcha Man & Fred Tehbot . . . . . . 12
>>>> Jimmy Snibbler, alias Charles Newton . . 5
>>>> none of the above . . . . . . . . . . . 5
>>>>
>>>>The best 404 page and the best bot are both rewarded. Well done!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>HAMMER OF THOR
>>>>
>>>>The winners are... ART DECO!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 35
>>>> No . . 6
>>>>
>>
>>
>> Artsie Fartsie sat on a wall
>> Artsie Fartsie had a great fall
>> All the king's horses all the king's slaves
>> Couldn't believe Artsie was so fucking lame.
>>
>>
>>
>>>>...and BOB OFFICER!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 33
>>>> No . . 8
>>>>
>>>>...and ARCHIE LEACH!
>>>>
>>>> Yes . . 26
>>>> No . . 9
>>>>
>>>>Congratulations! I wish all three of you many more years of happy
>>>>kook-smacking.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>This concludes the results of the September ballot.
>>
>>
>>
>> The results are wrong.
>>
>> Three of the 55
>>
>>>>ballot papers received were considered invalid.
>>
>>
>> WILD FUCKING GUESS. Mine was one of the "invalid"? 54 people broke one of
>> the rules. They replied to incomplete ballots. I protest these results.
>>
>> The next ballot will
>>
>>>>appear on a date that the Usenet ghouls will be unable to predict.
>>>>Until then, farewell!
>>
>>
>> Go fuck yourself.
>>
>Nice acceptance speech.
Cut him some slack Rev...
We were up against a commecial break..
:-)
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Yomamma bin Crawdaddin www.cotse.com
Brotherhood (Vice Chairman)
Anti Archangel #41 The difference between John Kerry and Ted Kennedy is
Stalking Filth #69.5 that Ted Kennedy has at least one confirmed kill.
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