Why do Alligators eat their young?

I can remember lying in bed one night as a child, listening to the "grown-ups" in the dining room playing cards and telling jokes. I was so young that I only understood one joke - and for some reason, I have remembered it all these years. The joke:
"Why do alligators eat their young?"

"Because if they didn't, we'd all be up to our butts [sic] in alligators!"

Yuk, yuk, right? Well - THEY thought it was funny. Must have been the cocktails ...

I can't help but think though that I remembered that for a hundred years because I was going to experience it. Where, oh where, are the mother alligators? I'm up to my butt in in online alligators - all trying to sell me their hype! Sometimes, I swear I can hear them snapping at my chair.

What's another word for, "hype?" Wellllll, we could try, "con" - or we could call it what it is - just plain ol' BS.

Now, I understand that sales material needs to be written in a certain way. When I didn't know how to do it, I went to some of the big names online and learned everything I could. However - this whole thing has gotten out of hand! Every sales letter I read is the same ol' thing. Come on, People - don't we have any imagination here?

It's SO bad that I refuse to read 99% of web sites any more. I can tell by the first paragraph what it's going to be. Why read it? I've read it thousands of times before. I already KNOW what it says. The only thing I don't know is, "How much does it cost?" And I probably won't find that out until they have me on the secure order page.

It's hype - pure and simple! Nearly ALL of it! It's crafted to make you think things it doesn't say - and I mean CRAFTED! Excuse me but is this not a con? Everything can't be that good!

Which shell is the bean under? NONE of them - it's an old-fashioned con game! And we're turning into nothing more than online carnival barkers.

I'm wrong?

WHAT? Am I going to get excited and send for your "free report" just to find that it's another sales letter - or even WORSE - a series of autoresponder messages for the next nine months? I don't think so. Oh, goody - a "free" e-book! Uh-uh - loaded with ads.

Free software? Sure, but if you want it to work, you'll have to buy the "Pro Version." Oh, I see, I get a discount! The same discount you started with three years ago which is ONLY GOING TO BE AVAILABLE THIS MONTH!

Or maybe, you're going to un-tip the board and allow me to win that big teddy bear. What a testimonial that'll make! You give me the bear and I walk off down the midway ...

"Wow! Where'd you get the teddy bear?"

"Oh, I won it over there - from the guy with coke bottle game."

I think that's called a "shill."

The good news is - I believe that online consumers are catching on to this nonsense. I, myself, used to be a sucker for the stuff. You wouldn't believe all the useless junk I bought!

Did I ever try any of these tactics? Yes, I'm ashamed to admit that I did. Until I learned not to trust the "experts." That's the saddest part of all. The so-called experts selling us BS and making us believe it's the thing to do online. Luckily - I got past it reasonably quickly.

It's about time all us online alligators got together and started eating our young! We're a little late. We're already up to our butts in alligators - but maybe we can keep them from going for our throats.

About the author:

dr. jl scott is the Director of the International Council of Online Professionals (iCop) - and also the publisher of MONDAY MEMO! - the ezine dedicated to upgrading Professionalism on the Web. For your FREE subscription: Monday-Memo-on@MondayMemo.org






jlscott@i-Cop.org
http://www.i-cop.org/