Self Image
| Category: Personal Development For Marketeers | Date: 2001-03-15 |
The Man In The Looking Glass
"When you get what you want in your struggle for self and the world makes you king for a day Then go to a mirror and look at yourself and see what your face has to say for it isn't your father, or mother or wife who judgement upon you must pass the one who means most in your life everyday is the face looking back from the glass you may follow the whole world down the pathway of life and get pats on your back as you pass but your final reward will be heartache and tears if you've cheated the man in the glass."
Every successful person knows the vital role that their self- image, or the picture they hold of themselves, plays in their success. This snapshot is probably the most important single factor which will determine how successful you will be in life- it is your destiny. I firmly believe that holding a poor self-image short-circuits a person's chances of success.
Your self-image is what you feel about yourself at the deepest level. It is your truth- because you subconsciously believe it about yourself. One's self image (especially with sensitive people) is a very fragile thing. It can be severely damaged by loss of job, mental breakdown or other trauma. Once broken it has to be slowly rebuilt, brick by brick, which sometimes can take a number of years before the person becomes their old self once again. People closest to you have a significant impact on ones self-image. If they don’t believe in you, it makes it very hard.
How you see yourself personally and professionally also determines the level of your own motivation. A positive self-image means that your sub-conscious mind can be controlled by eliminating negative thoughts and attitudes. Your subconscious mind determines your attitude to events and experiences. It is not what happens to you that is important, it is HOW you react to events.
"I am upset not by events, but rather by the way I view them."
Holding a good self image means seeing yourself as a unique and significant person who has a meaningful part to play in the world. You then add greater meaning to your life. If you have a strong inner belief in yourself and your values, you can change your behaviour subjectively by changing your attitudes of mind or your inner beliefs. This is what is known as "self talk". For example: You can turn a negative attitude about your weaknesses to a positive one regarding your strengths. Don't get bogged down with circumstances. The ‘loser’ with a negative self image often blames others for their adverse circumstances in life and usually suffers from depression. This negative self image then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as failure follows failure in their life. On the other hand, the person with a good self image EXPECTS to live up to their expectations and achieve success, which is what usually happens. If you feel good about yourself, the brain sends out positive messages to your body ( as seen in one’s body language) , so that you can act confidently and give off positive "vibes". This in turn develops confidence, which makes you feel more positive about having a go at something you would not normally tackle. We all know and envy those people who project an aura of confidence and success. Don’t we?
Thus, self image is a vital self-management skill, and like all skills, it needs constant exercise to nourish:
"water the flowers instead of the weeds in your garden."
How long has it been since we visited ourselves by looking closely at ourselves? The technical word for this is introspection.
How Do You See Yourself Now?
1. What do you do well?
2. What do you like most about yourself?
3. What results/achievements are you most proud of?
Your self image can be an invisible ceiling. Don't sell yourself short, because everyone has the potential to do anything. Aim high. If you train fleas to jump in a glass jar, even if you remove the jar, they do not jump any higher. Don't be a flea! Say to yourself:
"I need to lift the lid of my unlimited potential."
Lifting the Lid
Unlimited Potential
Self Image
Self imposed ceiling
Limited Potential
HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE FUTURE?
Write a short note to yourself on who you want to be and what you want to achieve by the year 2000 (or year 2003 seeing we are now nearly at the turn of the century as I update this manuscript). Utilise visual imagery (or mental pictures) and talk to yourself in a quiet place.
Make a decision to change (if you want to) and where you want to go. Involve yourself in clear specific goals.
END OF PART ONE
PART TWO SELF IMAGE
IMPROVING YOUR SELF IMAGE
Central to genuine success is a positive and realistic self image. However, throughout the course of a given day we are exposed to negative feedback- in the form of the media and comments from others. Throughout the course of our lives, we frequently harbour damaged self images- this stops us discovering our full potential. Don't try to imitate others, but see yourself as a unique person who can make a mark in the world. Many people have not taken seriously what I have been trying to do in my writing. Perhaps they are right that I’ll never be successful!
Hindrances to a positive self image:
1. Continual habit of self deprecation. (example: see last sentence in previous paragraph).
Many people put themselves down, pointing to their inabilities, inadequacies and weaknesses. People generally underestimate their capabilities and stress weaknesses rather than strengths- particularly women and in CV’s. I believe this is the reason why many people live lives of mediocrity, never becoming what they might have been by realising their full potential.
2. A false sense of security.
Most people plod on in steady secure jobs (which they don't like), rather than stepping out into the unknown. Change is not nearly as dangerous as what people think. Says he!
3. Most people remember past failures with guilt rather than celebrating what they did well. Take the credit yourself, no matter how small your achievements.
4. SNIOP = We are all very easily susceptible to the negative influences of other people . Don't listen when others say you can't do it. It just makes them feel better in their mediocre little lives.
5. Dare to be different and to what your heart says. FOLLOW YOUR DREAM... whatever it may be.
How to overcome a poor self- image
"Imagination rules the world." - Napoleon
"Imagination is the world." - Einstein
(Repeated by a slightly inebriated friend of mine standing on a table at a nurses dance). Thanks Peter Allie.
Utilise the Power of your Imagination.
Don't think negatively in terms of failure. Change your attitude by visualising achieving your goals. If you want to change your self image, change your imagination by letting your mind dwell on what you want to be in the future.
If you want to change your behaviour, the quickest and easiest way is to change your own attitude. You don't necessarily need to change jobs or location. That’s a big mistake I’ve made!
Establish a New Identity.
Use your mind. If you identify with a low self image, you will continue to view yourself poorly. Free yourself of your bad memories and fears of failure. If you are not happy with yourself, you may need to use the erase button, and record a new image to play back to yourself ... on the videotape of your mind, but without the old negative bits.
Your self image is your most precious asset. Make it a daily task to build it, to nourish it and to feed it.
Be Open to Growth & New Opportunities.
Serendipity - Most of my successes have come purely by chance by being in the right place at the right time, as well as staying positive even when things look bad. No, not bad but really perilous sometimes stuck in a big black hole full of that smelly brown stuff.
"The image that concerns most people is the reflection they see in other people's minds."
- Edward De Bono, famous writer on the concept of lateral thinking
In other words, I believe that too many people are worried about what others think of them.
Set Definite Goals:
Man is a goal-seeking organism. His personality is controlled not as much by his past accomplishments and present environment, as by his future goals.
People with no definite goals have an unfocussed life - they accomplish little of substance. An unfocussed life is a wasted life, and a wasted life is most open to a low self image. If you have no goal, where will you focus your abilities? How will you direct your life? Crystallise your goals ...then action them.
GOALS BRING SUCCESS
Setting and then achieving them. They give structure and a plan to our lives, no more than that... a purpose, a reason for being. So write down your daily goals. Numerous studies have shown that man uses only 10% of his abilities throughout his lifetime and only 5% of the population have any written goals.
So then, WHAT HOPE DO THEY HAVE OF EVER ACHIEVING THEM?
SPEAK POSITIVE WORDS Always think the best of others. We all have disappointments, but never allow disappointments to trigger negative words of resentment and anger. Words that lead to self pity and depression.
EXERCISE POSITIVE FAITH
NB: Have Faith in yourself, but especially in God.
The Bible said: "As I think I behave." Don’t ask me where to find it though? (could some Bible-basher please let me know where I found that quotation).
"How you see yourself is more important than how other people see you."
ASK YOURSELF:
+ + - 1. What do I do well? What do I do poorly?
2. What do I like most about What do I like least about myself? myself?
3. Of which results/achievements Which areas of my life need of mine am I most proud? the most attention?
* The more you add to the left hand side of the ledger, the more you will outweigh the negatives you have accumulated over the years. Instead of being your own worst enemy, you can be your own best friend. You're bound to have more on the left hand side than on the right.
A word to end off this chapter...
Fall in love with yourself and be sure of a life-long romance.
I LOVE MYSELF
I LOVE MYSELF THE WAY I AM THERE’S NOTHING I NEED TO CHANGE I WILL ALWAYS BE THE PERFECT ME THERE IS NOTHING TO RE-ARRANGE I AM BEAUTIFUL AND CAPABLE OF BEING THE BEST ME I CAN AND I LOVE MYSELF JUST THE WAY I AM
I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE THERE IS NOTHING YOU NEED TO DO WHEN I FEEL THE LOVE INSIDE MYSELF IT IS EASY TO LOVE YOU BEHIND YOUR FEARS YOUR RADIANT HUES I SEE YOUR SHINING STAR AND I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
I LOVE THE WORLD THE WAY IT IS ‘CAUSE I CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT ALL THE THINGS I JUDGE ARE DONE BY PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME SO TILL THE BIRTH OF PEACE ON EARTH THAT ONLY LOVE CAN BRING I’LL HELP THAT GROW BY LOVING EVERYTHING.
I LOVE MYSELF THE WAY I AM AND STILL I WANT TO GROW THE CHANGE OUTSIDE CAN ONLY COME WHEN DEEP INSIDE I KNOW I’M BEAUTIFUL AND CAPABLE OF BEING THE BEST ME I CAN I LOVE MYSELF JUST THE WAY I AM.
Thanks Kaye.
About the Author
C.Lock@xtra.co.nz
http://www.celebrityhowto.com/CLock.html
"When you get what you want in your struggle for self and the world makes you king for a day Then go to a mirror and look at yourself and see what your face has to say for it isn't your father, or mother or wife who judgement upon you must pass the one who means most in your life everyday is the face looking back from the glass you may follow the whole world down the pathway of life and get pats on your back as you pass but your final reward will be heartache and tears if you've cheated the man in the glass."
Every successful person knows the vital role that their self- image, or the picture they hold of themselves, plays in their success. This snapshot is probably the most important single factor which will determine how successful you will be in life- it is your destiny. I firmly believe that holding a poor self-image short-circuits a person's chances of success.
Your self-image is what you feel about yourself at the deepest level. It is your truth- because you subconsciously believe it about yourself. One's self image (especially with sensitive people) is a very fragile thing. It can be severely damaged by loss of job, mental breakdown or other trauma. Once broken it has to be slowly rebuilt, brick by brick, which sometimes can take a number of years before the person becomes their old self once again. People closest to you have a significant impact on ones self-image. If they don’t believe in you, it makes it very hard.
How you see yourself personally and professionally also determines the level of your own motivation. A positive self-image means that your sub-conscious mind can be controlled by eliminating negative thoughts and attitudes. Your subconscious mind determines your attitude to events and experiences. It is not what happens to you that is important, it is HOW you react to events.
"I am upset not by events, but rather by the way I view them."
Holding a good self image means seeing yourself as a unique and significant person who has a meaningful part to play in the world. You then add greater meaning to your life. If you have a strong inner belief in yourself and your values, you can change your behaviour subjectively by changing your attitudes of mind or your inner beliefs. This is what is known as "self talk". For example: You can turn a negative attitude about your weaknesses to a positive one regarding your strengths. Don't get bogged down with circumstances. The ‘loser’ with a negative self image often blames others for their adverse circumstances in life and usually suffers from depression. This negative self image then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as failure follows failure in their life. On the other hand, the person with a good self image EXPECTS to live up to their expectations and achieve success, which is what usually happens. If you feel good about yourself, the brain sends out positive messages to your body ( as seen in one’s body language) , so that you can act confidently and give off positive "vibes". This in turn develops confidence, which makes you feel more positive about having a go at something you would not normally tackle. We all know and envy those people who project an aura of confidence and success. Don’t we?
Thus, self image is a vital self-management skill, and like all skills, it needs constant exercise to nourish:
"water the flowers instead of the weeds in your garden."
How long has it been since we visited ourselves by looking closely at ourselves? The technical word for this is introspection.
How Do You See Yourself Now?
1. What do you do well?
2. What do you like most about yourself?
3. What results/achievements are you most proud of?
Your self image can be an invisible ceiling. Don't sell yourself short, because everyone has the potential to do anything. Aim high. If you train fleas to jump in a glass jar, even if you remove the jar, they do not jump any higher. Don't be a flea! Say to yourself:
"I need to lift the lid of my unlimited potential."
Lifting the Lid
Unlimited Potential
Self Image
Self imposed ceiling
Limited Potential
HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE FUTURE?
Write a short note to yourself on who you want to be and what you want to achieve by the year 2000 (or year 2003 seeing we are now nearly at the turn of the century as I update this manuscript). Utilise visual imagery (or mental pictures) and talk to yourself in a quiet place.
Make a decision to change (if you want to) and where you want to go. Involve yourself in clear specific goals.
END OF PART ONE
PART TWO SELF IMAGE
IMPROVING YOUR SELF IMAGE
Central to genuine success is a positive and realistic self image. However, throughout the course of a given day we are exposed to negative feedback- in the form of the media and comments from others. Throughout the course of our lives, we frequently harbour damaged self images- this stops us discovering our full potential. Don't try to imitate others, but see yourself as a unique person who can make a mark in the world. Many people have not taken seriously what I have been trying to do in my writing. Perhaps they are right that I’ll never be successful!
Hindrances to a positive self image:
1. Continual habit of self deprecation. (example: see last sentence in previous paragraph).
Many people put themselves down, pointing to their inabilities, inadequacies and weaknesses. People generally underestimate their capabilities and stress weaknesses rather than strengths- particularly women and in CV’s. I believe this is the reason why many people live lives of mediocrity, never becoming what they might have been by realising their full potential.
2. A false sense of security.
Most people plod on in steady secure jobs (which they don't like), rather than stepping out into the unknown. Change is not nearly as dangerous as what people think. Says he!
3. Most people remember past failures with guilt rather than celebrating what they did well. Take the credit yourself, no matter how small your achievements.
4. SNIOP = We are all very easily susceptible to the negative influences of other people . Don't listen when others say you can't do it. It just makes them feel better in their mediocre little lives.
5. Dare to be different and to what your heart says. FOLLOW YOUR DREAM... whatever it may be.
How to overcome a poor self- image
"Imagination rules the world." - Napoleon
"Imagination is the world." - Einstein
(Repeated by a slightly inebriated friend of mine standing on a table at a nurses dance). Thanks Peter Allie.
Utilise the Power of your Imagination.
Don't think negatively in terms of failure. Change your attitude by visualising achieving your goals. If you want to change your self image, change your imagination by letting your mind dwell on what you want to be in the future.
If you want to change your behaviour, the quickest and easiest way is to change your own attitude. You don't necessarily need to change jobs or location. That’s a big mistake I’ve made!
Establish a New Identity.
Use your mind. If you identify with a low self image, you will continue to view yourself poorly. Free yourself of your bad memories and fears of failure. If you are not happy with yourself, you may need to use the erase button, and record a new image to play back to yourself ... on the videotape of your mind, but without the old negative bits.
Your self image is your most precious asset. Make it a daily task to build it, to nourish it and to feed it.
Be Open to Growth & New Opportunities.
Serendipity - Most of my successes have come purely by chance by being in the right place at the right time, as well as staying positive even when things look bad. No, not bad but really perilous sometimes stuck in a big black hole full of that smelly brown stuff.
"The image that concerns most people is the reflection they see in other people's minds."
- Edward De Bono, famous writer on the concept of lateral thinking
In other words, I believe that too many people are worried about what others think of them.
Set Definite Goals:
Man is a goal-seeking organism. His personality is controlled not as much by his past accomplishments and present environment, as by his future goals.
People with no definite goals have an unfocussed life - they accomplish little of substance. An unfocussed life is a wasted life, and a wasted life is most open to a low self image. If you have no goal, where will you focus your abilities? How will you direct your life? Crystallise your goals ...then action them.
GOALS BRING SUCCESS
Setting and then achieving them. They give structure and a plan to our lives, no more than that... a purpose, a reason for being. So write down your daily goals. Numerous studies have shown that man uses only 10% of his abilities throughout his lifetime and only 5% of the population have any written goals.
So then, WHAT HOPE DO THEY HAVE OF EVER ACHIEVING THEM?
SPEAK POSITIVE WORDS Always think the best of others. We all have disappointments, but never allow disappointments to trigger negative words of resentment and anger. Words that lead to self pity and depression.
EXERCISE POSITIVE FAITH
NB: Have Faith in yourself, but especially in God.
The Bible said: "As I think I behave." Don’t ask me where to find it though? (could some Bible-basher please let me know where I found that quotation).
"How you see yourself is more important than how other people see you."
ASK YOURSELF:
+ + - 1. What do I do well? What do I do poorly?
2. What do I like most about What do I like least about myself? myself?
3. Of which results/achievements Which areas of my life need of mine am I most proud? the most attention?
* The more you add to the left hand side of the ledger, the more you will outweigh the negatives you have accumulated over the years. Instead of being your own worst enemy, you can be your own best friend. You're bound to have more on the left hand side than on the right.
A word to end off this chapter...
Fall in love with yourself and be sure of a life-long romance.
I LOVE MYSELF
I LOVE MYSELF THE WAY I AM THERE’S NOTHING I NEED TO CHANGE I WILL ALWAYS BE THE PERFECT ME THERE IS NOTHING TO RE-ARRANGE I AM BEAUTIFUL AND CAPABLE OF BEING THE BEST ME I CAN AND I LOVE MYSELF JUST THE WAY I AM
I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE THERE IS NOTHING YOU NEED TO DO WHEN I FEEL THE LOVE INSIDE MYSELF IT IS EASY TO LOVE YOU BEHIND YOUR FEARS YOUR RADIANT HUES I SEE YOUR SHINING STAR AND I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
I LOVE THE WORLD THE WAY IT IS ‘CAUSE I CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT ALL THE THINGS I JUDGE ARE DONE BY PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME SO TILL THE BIRTH OF PEACE ON EARTH THAT ONLY LOVE CAN BRING I’LL HELP THAT GROW BY LOVING EVERYTHING.
I LOVE MYSELF THE WAY I AM AND STILL I WANT TO GROW THE CHANGE OUTSIDE CAN ONLY COME WHEN DEEP INSIDE I KNOW I’M BEAUTIFUL AND CAPABLE OF BEING THE BEST ME I CAN I LOVE MYSELF JUST THE WAY I AM.
Thanks Kaye.
About the Author
C.Lock@xtra.co.nz
http://www.celebrityhowto.com/CLock.html
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