Dr. Strangesearch...Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Search Engines (Part 1).
| Category: Search Engines | Date: 2001-09-10 |
"Why can't I find what I want, fer Pete's sake?"
"Perhaps what you're looking for just doesn't exist yet?" As Sherry said that, she swung her chair around, smiling benignly.
"Ha!" I snorted, "This darn SE is no good...just no darn good, I tell ya!" And this was one of the majors...
Sherry chuckled, "Rubbish! C'mon already, that's just a gross overstatement, and you know it...you just have to know how to go about searching properly."
Well, OK, I thought, she has a point...but I'd been searching for a fly-fishing resort...but the darned SEs, so much junk!
Sherry interrupted my thoughts, "Well, what are you looking for, anyway?" Gotta be careful here, fly-fishing costs. Aloud, I said, "Just testing search terms, is all."
By this tme, She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed had rolled her chair over to my desk, "Exactly *which* search terms have you been using, dear?", elbowing me outta the way. I got the point and went for coffee!
Suddenly, she gave a cackle, "What's this - you call *this* a search term?" I came over and looked at the quivering mouse-pointer: 'Where can I fly-fish' was in the search box.
Seemed a reasonable question at the time, "Hmmm, so?" Sherry raised one eyebrow, "Well, you got a big fat zero from that, right?" She punched in the following screen: 'Sorry -there is no match, why don't you try shopping for where can I fly-fish, blah, blah, blah etc', was the SE response...well, you know the rest, OK? ;-(
"And what about this?" Sherry brought up an earlier search I'd made, 'What is the best area for fly-fishing' sat there, accusingly, in the search box. And, with the same result.
"How on earth do you expect to find anything if you keep on treating a search engine like an adult...?" Not waiting for an answer, she looks at me witheringly, and brings up another failed attempt: 'best fly-fishing areas' which actually brought back results, of sorts, but mostly unrelated, and very little about fly-fishing anyways!
"Waddya mean by that, huh...treating an SE like an adult?"
"Haven't you been reading your ezines...what they're saying about SEs...?" She rummaged around on my desk, and was finally able to find what she wanted, "Here, listen to this: 'the search engines can only present a result for a keyword search based on what's available to them from their own database...' - now that's a quote from Bob Massa, in his Portal Partner Press, few weeks back, let's see...January 29th." Now, Bob's the best when it comes to SEs, so I hadda sit up and take notice.
"OK, soooo??"
"Well, look at your search terms you used for finding a fly-fishing resort... just...just...LOOK at them, for goodness sake!" OK, OK, so they didn't work!
"Lookit," Sherry punches in 'fly-fishing' while I watch, into the search box, "there, you've got many results for that - a ton too many in fact." At 163,000 pages, I had to agree, I ain't gonna look past the third page anyways, takes too much time. "So...that's no good, huh!" keeping a straight face.
Sherry sniffed her displeasure and entered: "best fly-fishing". Hmmmm, 1151 pages came back, much better I thought, maybe there is *something* in the first three that'll be useful. I started to scroll down the page...
"Don't you *dare* touch that," Sherry screeches, "I'm not finished yet...there's still too many results!" Whoa, I drop the mouse like a smoking gun, and back off...maybe she's onta somethin'.
She glares at me, "And just where *are* the best fly-fishing areas, dear heart, where are they, hmmm?" And, as she's talking, she punches in 'best fly-fishing rivers', her face like a Cheshire cat as 25 results appeared on the screen.
"So, there you are, dear, just tell the *child* what you want, and you'll get it - if it exists in the data base." She looks at me intently, "Doesn't that make sense, hmmm?"
I had to agree - any resort worth its salt, so to speak, should have advertising copy on its site, in the META keywords, the TITLE etc, all specifically designed to attract people like me and my interest in fly-fishing. Anything else is just not worth bothering about...
"So, my queries in SEs are really *statements*, right?"
Sherry pats my hand, "Now you've got it - just remember to make sure that your search statement is an accurate reflection of what you really want to find?"
"So, getting a good result has a ot to do with GIGO, huh...garbage in, garbage out? Trouble is, there's so much of it!"
"Hey, SEs are still the best value around, don't forget it. Use them properly and you *will* find what you want, *if* you really zero in on what you're looking for...that is, if it exists, of course!"
"Yeah, but alla junk around...!"
Sherry cuts in, "Not for long...haven't you been reading how search engines are dumping millions of pages? Altavista, Google and others?" She arches *both* eyebrows now, "Tsk, tsk, not doing your homework, hmmm...? What *are* search engines...essentially, hmmm?" Not waiting for an answer, of course, she went on, "They're just like big department stores, aren't they...with millions of products which just happen to be...web pages - ours included."
She pauses, letting that sink in.
"Now, I ask you, if you run a big department store and many of your suppliers keep bringing trashy products that only the lunatic fringe wants or the products are just poor, digital trash anyway, what d'you do, hmmm?"
Well, o'course, no question thinks I...have a fire sale...but she answers first. "Well, the SEs can't sell them, of course," as though bombing my mind, "they just *have* to dump them, and rightly so!" I nod my head emphatically, "Right, absolutely, right-on, problem solved, right?"
She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed looks at me, shakes her head sadly, sighs and says, "No, dear, problem is *not* solved, not yet anyway." I get another cup of coffee for both of us, and wait.
She goes on, "Why d'you think it's taking longer and longer to get spidered and indexed these days...never used to be like this...there's big changes coming, I'm sure...a big shake up..." Her voice trails off.
"Changes? What sort of changes, huh?" Sherry shrugs, "Never mind for now, dear, I've got emails to attend to, you've got coding to do...we'll think about that another day," and rolls her chair back to her desk. The click of her mouse and keyboard are once again music to my ears as I surreptitiously scroll through the 25 fly-fishing results...the trout iceman cometh!
Hey, this SE ain't so bad after all...yippee, here's a spot...;-))
About the Author
Roger Burke has been involved with computers since 1967, and has managed to break quite a few, over the years. He, and his wife Sherry, are now actively engaged in online self-publishing and promoting specific affiliate programs at online-wealth.com . If you have any comments or questions about this article, please send emails to online-wealth.com .
Copyright 2001, Online-Wealth. All rights reserved.
:To contact see details below.
webmaster@online-wealth.com
http://online-wealth.com
"Perhaps what you're looking for just doesn't exist yet?" As Sherry said that, she swung her chair around, smiling benignly.
"Ha!" I snorted, "This darn SE is no good...just no darn good, I tell ya!" And this was one of the majors...
Sherry chuckled, "Rubbish! C'mon already, that's just a gross overstatement, and you know it...you just have to know how to go about searching properly."
Well, OK, I thought, she has a point...but I'd been searching for a fly-fishing resort...but the darned SEs, so much junk!
Sherry interrupted my thoughts, "Well, what are you looking for, anyway?" Gotta be careful here, fly-fishing costs. Aloud, I said, "Just testing search terms, is all."
By this tme, She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed had rolled her chair over to my desk, "Exactly *which* search terms have you been using, dear?", elbowing me outta the way. I got the point and went for coffee!
Suddenly, she gave a cackle, "What's this - you call *this* a search term?" I came over and looked at the quivering mouse-pointer: 'Where can I fly-fish' was in the search box.
Seemed a reasonable question at the time, "Hmmm, so?" Sherry raised one eyebrow, "Well, you got a big fat zero from that, right?" She punched in the following screen: 'Sorry -there is no match, why don't you try shopping for where can I fly-fish, blah, blah, blah etc', was the SE response...well, you know the rest, OK? ;-(
"And what about this?" Sherry brought up an earlier search I'd made, 'What is the best area for fly-fishing' sat there, accusingly, in the search box. And, with the same result.
"How on earth do you expect to find anything if you keep on treating a search engine like an adult...?" Not waiting for an answer, she looks at me witheringly, and brings up another failed attempt: 'best fly-fishing areas' which actually brought back results, of sorts, but mostly unrelated, and very little about fly-fishing anyways!
"Waddya mean by that, huh...treating an SE like an adult?"
"Haven't you been reading your ezines...what they're saying about SEs...?" She rummaged around on my desk, and was finally able to find what she wanted, "Here, listen to this: 'the search engines can only present a result for a keyword search based on what's available to them from their own database...' - now that's a quote from Bob Massa, in his Portal Partner Press, few weeks back, let's see...January 29th." Now, Bob's the best when it comes to SEs, so I hadda sit up and take notice.
"OK, soooo??"
"Well, look at your search terms you used for finding a fly-fishing resort... just...just...LOOK at them, for goodness sake!" OK, OK, so they didn't work!
"Lookit," Sherry punches in 'fly-fishing' while I watch, into the search box, "there, you've got many results for that - a ton too many in fact." At 163,000 pages, I had to agree, I ain't gonna look past the third page anyways, takes too much time. "So...that's no good, huh!" keeping a straight face.
Sherry sniffed her displeasure and entered: "best fly-fishing". Hmmmm, 1151 pages came back, much better I thought, maybe there is *something* in the first three that'll be useful. I started to scroll down the page...
"Don't you *dare* touch that," Sherry screeches, "I'm not finished yet...there's still too many results!" Whoa, I drop the mouse like a smoking gun, and back off...maybe she's onta somethin'.
She glares at me, "And just where *are* the best fly-fishing areas, dear heart, where are they, hmmm?" And, as she's talking, she punches in 'best fly-fishing rivers', her face like a Cheshire cat as 25 results appeared on the screen.
"So, there you are, dear, just tell the *child* what you want, and you'll get it - if it exists in the data base." She looks at me intently, "Doesn't that make sense, hmmm?"
I had to agree - any resort worth its salt, so to speak, should have advertising copy on its site, in the META keywords, the TITLE etc, all specifically designed to attract people like me and my interest in fly-fishing. Anything else is just not worth bothering about...
"So, my queries in SEs are really *statements*, right?"
Sherry pats my hand, "Now you've got it - just remember to make sure that your search statement is an accurate reflection of what you really want to find?"
"So, getting a good result has a ot to do with GIGO, huh...garbage in, garbage out? Trouble is, there's so much of it!"
"Hey, SEs are still the best value around, don't forget it. Use them properly and you *will* find what you want, *if* you really zero in on what you're looking for...that is, if it exists, of course!"
"Yeah, but alla junk around...!"
Sherry cuts in, "Not for long...haven't you been reading how search engines are dumping millions of pages? Altavista, Google and others?" She arches *both* eyebrows now, "Tsk, tsk, not doing your homework, hmmm...? What *are* search engines...essentially, hmmm?" Not waiting for an answer, of course, she went on, "They're just like big department stores, aren't they...with millions of products which just happen to be...web pages - ours included."
She pauses, letting that sink in.
"Now, I ask you, if you run a big department store and many of your suppliers keep bringing trashy products that only the lunatic fringe wants or the products are just poor, digital trash anyway, what d'you do, hmmm?"
Well, o'course, no question thinks I...have a fire sale...but she answers first. "Well, the SEs can't sell them, of course," as though bombing my mind, "they just *have* to dump them, and rightly so!" I nod my head emphatically, "Right, absolutely, right-on, problem solved, right?"
She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed looks at me, shakes her head sadly, sighs and says, "No, dear, problem is *not* solved, not yet anyway." I get another cup of coffee for both of us, and wait.
She goes on, "Why d'you think it's taking longer and longer to get spidered and indexed these days...never used to be like this...there's big changes coming, I'm sure...a big shake up..." Her voice trails off.
"Changes? What sort of changes, huh?" Sherry shrugs, "Never mind for now, dear, I've got emails to attend to, you've got coding to do...we'll think about that another day," and rolls her chair back to her desk. The click of her mouse and keyboard are once again music to my ears as I surreptitiously scroll through the 25 fly-fishing results...the trout iceman cometh!
Hey, this SE ain't so bad after all...yippee, here's a spot...;-))
About the Author
Roger Burke has been involved with computers since 1967, and has managed to break quite a few, over the years. He, and his wife Sherry, are now actively engaged in online self-publishing and promoting specific affiliate programs at online-wealth.com . If you have any comments or questions about this article, please send emails to online-wealth.com .
Copyright 2001, Online-Wealth. All rights reserved.
:To contact see details below.
webmaster@online-wealth.com
http://online-wealth.com
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